Broke Me Up
by WP
Summary: An attempt to take love is battlefield to a remotely sensible place. I.E no out of character craziness and horrible kicking's out. So very much Palex. Read and enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Hey guys, this is a little teaser to a new fic. Hopefully you'll like it. It's basically my attempt to re-write the hideous slap on the face that was Love is a Battlefield. Gah, doesn't that phrase just cause horror? Anyway, enjoy.

**Broke Me Up**

"I can't drive. I'm too stoned!" Alex and Jay chuckled to themselves. "What am I gonna tell Paige?"

Jay didn't reach far for his answer, it was technically the truth. "That I'm a mess, that uh, that your being a good friend. She'll get it."

Alex laughed at that last comment, oh how little Jason knew. "No, she'll have a fit actually." Sauntering over to the dresses she added. "These are the only things she cares about."

"Well, if they're that damn important I'll drive you."

Alex eyed him suspiciously, "Your stoned too."

"Barely. Broken hearts have a sobering effect."

Alex pinched his cheek. "Let's get these dresses to Paige then emo kid. And tomorrow we're going out and getting you laid."

Jay sighed then over emphasised his getting up. "You can bring those dresses down yourself."

Alex looked at the mass of plastic covered costumes and groaned. "Jay!" The only response she was met with was the door closing.

O0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0O

Paige grabbed the ringing phone from her bag and answered, "What?"

"Uh, Paige?"

She frowned. "Jay? What, Alex wasn't brave enough to call me herself?"

Jay was silent for too long. It made her heart sink.

"There was an accident. I'm sorry, there was this kid and I swerved and-"

"Jay! Alex is ok right? I just need to bail you two space cadets out, right?"

"She's at the hospital. I don't know if she's ok, I'm at the police station."

Paige was silent this time. Alex was in a car accident, she was in the hospital. She could feel the subway lines over her lungs begin to vibrate.

"Paige?! You can't freak, I only get one call. You have to make sure she's ok."

"How? How can I do anything if she's not?! Why were you so stupid!? Why did I tell her to come get me?! I knew, I knew she wasn't herself."

"This isn't your fault, it's mine. This kid ran out in front of the car and I swerved and we went straight into a tree."

"Oh God." Paige whispered as it played out in her head.

"I'm not going to be here long, the kids parents told the police it wasn't my fault. Just a DUI."

Paige marvelled at the idea of it being 'just' a DUI.

"Ok." He paused. "Paige, she loves you, just be there." With that he hung up.

Paige felt herself choking up, she was truly walking into this blind. Hailing a cab she tried to stop the constant internal replay of their last conversation.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Hey! Thanks for all you people who took the time to review and say lovely things. Much appreciated. Sorry for the long wait but it's dissertation and essay time and I'm trying not to fall back on old habits and write fics when I should be writing uni stuff. It is hard. lol. Oh, when you read this I think maybe candians or those with good knowledge of the medical system may be like "That's not a rule." and I think it's not but let's just pretend it's like America for the sake of the fic. Thanks guys.

**Part 2**

The cab ride to the hospital had been painfully long. It was like she could feel every rotation of the tyres, and with each cycle it got harder and harder to breath. Simply functioning was all she was concentrated on but grotesque pictures of car wrecks, of Alex trapped, hurt badly inside of a car plagued her.

She was pretty sure the driver had asked her if she was ok, a few times but she couldn't let herself contemplate such a question. She didn't know if she was ok til she knew how Alex was.

Now walking into the emergency room she wished she had called Marco or Emily on the way. She wished she wasn't alone in this. Even to have Jay at her side would mean everything.

"Can I help you?"

Paige opened her mouth but no sound came out. Her normally overly present voice had become mute.

"Are you looking for someone?" The receptionist asked. She was more than used to dealing with distraught family members.

The young blonde nodded and forced out "Alex Nunez."

"Ok." The woman started typing. "Are you family?"

"Girlfriend." She was becoming more and more unnerved by her own monosyllabic communication.

The woman stopped typing and looked up at her, but not in a shocked or offended way, rather sympathetically.

"Honey, we can only give out details of her condition to family. I'm sorry. Can you call someone?"

Paige struggled to comprehend the heinous words coming from this seemingly helpful person.

"How about her mom?" The woman asked trying to get some kind of response from the stunned blonde.

Paige shook her head. "She doesn't talk to her. She doesn't have any family. Only me."

That one sentence made her stomach twist even further than she thought possible at this point.

Alex didn't have family like Paige. She didn't have a brother she could turn to when she needed advice. She didn't have parents who provided and cared for her through everything. She didn't have a grandmother to make her old fashioned dinners or tell her stories of the homeland. She didn't have anyone but herself to dependant on.

Paige was the closest person to family she had. Even that wasn't enough.

"If you want I can try to contact them, if you can give me a number."

Paige rubbed her forehead. "I… I can't remember the number." She was beginning to panic again.

It was obvious to her that the girl wasn't quite with it. "Is it in your phone?"

Paige's eyes snapped up and she pulled out her phone. "Yes. I didn't…"

"It's ok, sweetie. I'll take care of this. Maybe there's someone you can call so your not alone."

Paige nodded but still didn't budge. "Tell me she's ok." It wasn't a question. It was an appeal. One human being to another.

"She's in a good place, she's being well looked after."

Paige couldn't stand looking at that woman any longer. She wanted to physically hurt her and that wasn't something she was used to. Stumbling away she remembered to pick up her feet and found a seat in the corner in which to plop down.

She was clutching her phone trying to remember what to do with it. It felt like the only thing that could save her from this florescent light hell, that could save Alex who was locked up in some wing waiting for Paige to find her, rescue her from the world that kept on trying to tear her away.

She was beginning to feel light headed. She couldn't make her lungs inflate. It felt like there was an iron casing around her chest preventing her from breathing. With a desperate gasp she held up her phone was for once in her life thankful for speed dial.

"Hey my little fashionista."

"You need…" The rest came out as a shaky spit of breath.

"Paige? What's going on?" The worry in his voice was obvious.

With one shallow breath she managed to salvage her voice. "Alex is hurt, they won't tell me anything because I'm not family and I mean, who are they to judge that, family is not a set ideal anymore, they can't just claim blood is the only meaning of family. Jay is in jail, Alex is here and I can't help her. I need you here, please."

Marco was already out the door and hailing a taxi. "Sit tight and I'll be there soon. Ok?"

"Ok."

Paige tried hard to keep her mind blank. She hadn't had a panic attack in a while, not since before her reunion with Alex. She couldn't crumble now, her girlfriend needed her to stay strong.

She moved her attention to the sterile wall to her right and found a little speck, a tiny imperfection and focussed blindly on it.

As she lost herself in an intense stare her breathing became automatic again. Now it was a fight against time. The sooner Marco arrived the better.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Again, Thank you for all your lovely reviews. Ok, so the last two were reasonably short parts, get ready for the long and babbly. I really hope you can get through it all. Thanks.

**Part 3**

Marco ran into the ER and looked around for his best friend. At first glance he couldn't see her but then her blonde hair caught her attention, she was huddled in a corner staring blankly at the wall.

As he dropped into the chair beside her, his arm slipping around her shoulder, he gently spoke her name. As she became aware of his presence she turned into him, burying her face into his shoulder.

Marco instantly put his other arm around her and hugged her tightly. He kissed her head and waited a few moments.

"Paige? What happened?"

She heard his soft plea and realised she hadn't really told him anything yet. He didn't have a clue what was going on, only that Alex was in Hospital. Pulling back from his embrace she still kept a tight grip of his hand.

"I was at the fashion house and Alex was meant to be driving me around for the day so I called her when she wasn't where she was meant to be and she was stoned. Jay was with her. I was really pissed at her and I was bitch all week. No wonder she didn't want to drive me around all day."

"So, how did she end up here?" Marco asked trying not to be insensitive but becoming frustrated.

"Jay was driving her to pick me up. They got into an accident. He sounded so scared when he called me Marco, like it was really bad. And they won't tell me anything because I'm not family but I'm the closest thing to family she has so what am I meant to do? Wait here forever until she either walks out those doors or…"

Marco watched her face fall and squeezed her hand. "God, Marco what if…? I only just got her back and now this. What if the last conversation I have with her was that heinous phone call?"

Marco rubbed Paige's arm. "Don't think like that, it's going to be ok." He felt so stupid saying that but he had to give her hope, he had to have more faith in Alex, they all knew she was strong, she would get through this too. Then he realised how stupid all this was, they didn't even know how she was, this worry could all be for nothing.

Standing up he tugged on Paige's hand. "Come on, we're going to find out how your sweetheart is."

With that he marched them up to the desk and quickly gained the woman's attention. "I'm here for Alex Nunez."

"I'm sorry sir but we can only give out information to family at this point."

Marco impatiently waited for her to finish her little speech then added, "I'm her cousin, Marco Del Rossi."

"Your name-"

He cut her off, "Our mother's are sisters. Can you please tell me how my cousin is?"

Marco felt proud, a little conviction seemed to be all it took as the woman began typing. As she did she looked up sympathetically at Paige.

"I got through to the number you gave me but…" she shook her head as if it was too horrific to even say out loud. It was.

Paige nodded blinking back tears. "Alex still has us."

"Ok, she's in surgery just now." She heard the blonde gasp. "It's for her arm. That's all I can really tell you. There will be a doctor down to talk to you as soon as their out of surgery."

Marco nodded, "Thanks." He put his arm around Paige and led her back to the waiting area. The blonde was quiet in the sense of without any noise or other signs of life except her open and occasionally blinking eyes.

"Paige?" No response. "Please say something, you're a talker, this is freaking me out."

Paige still didn't look at him but then her shaky voice made itself heard.

"How am I supposed to know how to feel? She's having emergency surgery and I still don't actually know if she's ok, if she's going to be ok. So what do I do with that Marco? Have a little chat with you to kill some time?"

Marco shook his head. "We should call Ellie. She'd want to be here. And what about Jay? He's at the police station?" Marco asked unsure about the details.

"I think so. It's where he called me from. Can you call Ellie? I don't think I can explain it again."

Marco pulled out his cell, "sure." He said trying to sound far more confident than he did.

Paige flipped open her own and called information. After getting connected to the police station she found out Jay had already been released. At least they'd get some answers soon.

She turned her attention to Marco's conversation and heard him tying things up. "No, that's all we know. Yeah, ok. Take care getting here. Bye."

"Ellie's on her way." Marco informed her.

Paige nodded, "Good."

Despite their seeming lack of closeness and constant bickering she wanted Ellie here. And Ellie was Alex's best friend besides her. Plus, more selfishly, she found Ellie to be a stabilizing influence in tough times. Ellie off set her neurotic hyperness well. She had a clarity and pragmatism Paige envied.

Marco's voice pulled her from her thoughts. "Did you find out about Jay?"

"The police let him out about 20 minutes ago. Looks like we're just waiting now, hun."

Marco shifted in his seat trying to find a comfy position for their looming sit in but soon settled for an ok one. Then it began to eat away at him.

"Her mom's really not coming, huh?"

Paige sighed. "It looks that way."

She paused for a moment then spoke with a anger fuelled voice. "I don't understand how she could not come rushing here demanding to see her daughter. Alex done everything for that woman. She got punched and pushed and slept in shelters because of her merde choices. She became a stripper to pay her mom's debts and she still chooses that scumbag Chad. It's disgusting."

The anger turned to sadness instantly. "She's such a good person and sometimes I'm just so amazed that she hasn't let it ruin her."

Paige felt the steel encased lump in her throat painfully rising. "I've been horrible to her about the rent. I used it as some excuse to lord over her. She begged me to help her and I threw it back in her face. I should have been helping her find a job, make sure she was really ok. She's been through hell and all I was worried about was my stupid internship that I don't even like. If I'd never taken it she wouldn't be having surgery, she'd be safe at home with me."

Paige let out a heartbroken sob. "Why did I forget?" She begged.

Marco took the sobbing girl into his arms. "What did you forget?" he asked gently.

Paige's hands gripped onto his shirt for dear life. "That she's all that matters. She's the only one & I keep screwing it up."

This one tiny and seemingly obvious realisation was overwhelming. Marco held her tighter as she violently sobbed for her girlfriend, for everything she thought she'd messed up.

He fought against his own tears as he tried to whisper reassurances to her. He told her this wasn't her fault. That she'd be able to talk all of this through with Alex. That everything would be ok even though he was sure she couldn't hear a word he said through her sadness.

He thought back to how he'd acted with Alex staying at the house. He thought it was time she moved out and stopped spending her days in bed. But he had thought she would have moved back home within a couple of weeks. He didn't realise that she had actually cut all ties with her mom, he thought it'd blow over like always. He was a jackass. His best friend's girlfriend who he very much considered one of his closest friends also, had a horrible month that he had yet to even really acknowledge. All he cared about was rent.

"Del Rossi." Marco looked up and saw Jay towering over them looking like he just got done with a 4 day bender.

"Jay. Are you ok?"

Paige let her tear blurred gaze fall on Jay. He looked like crap, the bridge of his nose was split and his eyes were already surrounded in dark circles. She tried to ignore the cascade of blood down his shirt, hoping it was just from his nose. There eye's met for a second then Jay replied.

"How's Alex?"

Marco sat up straight as Paige had sat up and was currently sniffing and wiping her eyes.

"She's getting surgery on her arm, that's all they've told us."

He sat down heavily. "Waiting bites." He added simply to fill the silence.

Marco nodded a silent agreement. "I'm gonna get coffee, looks like you could both use it." With that he was off on a quest to find a coffee machine.

That left Jay and Paige sitting awkwardly, a seat in between them.

"How bad?" Paige asked hoarsely.

Jay didn't know how to answer that, or even if he should. It was all a blur what with the shock and the meeting his face had with the steering wheel. But he could feel Paige's eyes burning into him.

"I don't know. She was banged up. But things always look worse than they are."

"Jay, I'm going crazy, no one's telling me anything and I don't know what I'm meant to be expecting. Like, am I going to lose her? Or is it just superficial stuff? Please, it feels like my insides are liquidising just sitting here, wondering."

Jay sighed and scratched his head. "I don't know how bad it is. Her arm was busted pretty bad and it looked like she hit her head pretty hard. She… she was out the entire time."

"And this is because you swerved?"

Jay instantly felt like he was being accused. "Would you rather I'd ploughed straight into a kid?" He didn't wait for any response. "If it wasn't for your goddamned clothes this wouldn't have happened. But no, you have your swanky new job that means more to you than Alex ever could."

Paige saw red as he questioned how she felt for Alex.

"Don't you dare tell me I care more about that job than her. You know nothing about us or what we've been through! And you're the one to blame, you drove when you were stoned! You could have killed her and that kid. And all because you want to get high on a Wednesday afternoon?"

"At least I was with her. She didn't want to disappoint you, she was gonna drive those slut outfits to you. She feels like she owes you everything, all because you've given her somewhere to crash but all you've done is criticise her and belittle it. Do you know what it took for her to leave? She had a million opportunities to get out of there but she finally done it for you. She must be crazy to think you were worth it."

He said the last part with such distain and conviction. Paige felt sick. He was right. She scrambled to her feet and bolted down the corridor.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: Hey, Happy new year guys, hope you all had a good one. Sorry for the lack of update but its a busy time of year. Anyway, this is a long part to make up. Not too much longer to go. Thanks again for all you people reading.

**Part 4**

Scowling at Jay she quickly told him, "Pull it together or leave, your not helping Alex like that." Then she paced down the corridor to the bathroom. Entering she was met with the sound of Paige throwing up. The cubicle door was open so she dumped her bag and made herself useful. Holding back Paige's hair and rubbing circles on her back until she was finished.

As Paige splashed her face with cold water Ellie grabbed mints from her bag. Paige graciously accepted.

"What Jay said was out of line. He's just upset."

Paige leaned her back against the sink, "No, he was right." She let her heavy eyes fall down to the cold tiled floor. "I'm not a good girlfriend. All I ever do is hurt her."

Ellie found it hard to instantly reassure her otherwise. Alex had been her friend far longer and she knew how much Paige's behaviour had hurt her both recently and in the past. But she also knew it wasn't as black and white as that.

"No one is the perfect girlfriend. Mistakes are what relationships are about." she said soothingly.

For a second she thought Paige was going to burst into tears but then she seemed to swallow it back.

"I love her. So much it terrifies me because I know nothing will ever be this good, no one will ever make me feel the way she does. I've spent our entire relationship trying to push her away and keep her at a distance. I thought I'd stopped, I thought I'd gotten over it but I've been doing it again. Living with her, waking up with her, it's just made me love her more. But I can't because sooner or later it's going to end, get screwed up and I don't think I'm strong enough to have a life that isn't loving her. I took that stupid job because I knew it'd keep me away all day and I threw the rent in her face, I knew what it took for her to ask me for help, but I still used it to spite her." She looked Ellie dead in the eye. "Still think I'm not the worst girlfriend- hell, homosapien alive?"

Ellie sighed and shook her head. "You two are so stupid, you realise that? You have something almost no one else does, your made for each other but your both too scared to give in to it. I swear to God if you don't own up to her I will… tell everyone about the AFI concert. And that you goth'd up and your crush on Davey Havok."

Paige's watering eyes widened slightly at that threat. It was her secret that only Ellie knew. She'd made her swear to never tell anyone. Though to be fair they were 15 at the time but still the threat made her heart thud for a moment. Then came the unexpected laugh that escaped her.

"You wouldn't dare. I'd kick your black clad ass, Nash."

Ellie bumped her shoulder into the blonde's. "You ok?" She asked sincerely.

Paige just replied, "Let's go out and see if there's news." However, before they made it to the door she put her hand on Ellie's arm to stop her. "If- when she's ok, promise me you'll make sure I tell her everything I said."

Ellie nodded, "I promise."

Paige gave her quick thankful hug before they rejoined the guys. Marco and Jay were sitting with a seat in between them, arms crossed and sideways starring at one another. When Marco saw his two friends approach he jumped to his feet.

Paige stopped in her tracks, Marco had jumped to his feet and was looking at her wide eyed. "Tell Me." She said monotone, knowing that what she was about to hear would be the most impacting words of her life.

"She's out of surgery. Her arm got pretty smashed up, she's got 3 pins in it. She broke a couple of ribs too. They said she'll be out for a while from the hit on the head and the drugs but she'll be ok."

Paige stood statue like trying to take it in. Alex was going to live, she would be ok. Thanking God she realised she had been holding her breath the entire time and consequently gasped in a ragged breath. Her heart was beating so fast and so hard she could see her pulse in her eye.

Marco had his hands securely wrapped around Paige's arms. He didn't trust her to stand for herself. His normally immaculately turned out friend was crumpled, pale, blotchy and generally exhausted looking. With every right but he was worried. He didn't know how to read her expression, he wasn't even sure she had understood what he'd said.

Ellie was watching their interaction from the side and after a silent sigh of relief that Alex was ok she knew that she needed to step in, Marco was starring expectantly at a blank faced Paige.

Putting her arm around Paige in a sideways hug, she reached the other out to Marco and pulled him closer successfully completing their ground hug.

"She's ok." Paige's voice was so delicate in that moment it was almost unbearable.

Jay rubbed his clammy hands on his jeans and stood up, clearing his throat fearing his voice wouldn't work otherwise.

"Tell her I was here."

With that he walked towards the exit, leaving the group of friends supporting one another like he'd never seen before. It made him sad to think that ready, he had no one to confide in or trust wholly. Alex was the closest to a best friend he had but he was aware their relationship was strange to say the least. He loved her though, that was undeniable.

As the automatic doors opened and the cold night air hit his flushed face a hand touched his shoulder. Paige was standing there, she looked like she half wanted to walk away.

"You should stay, if you want to I mean. You know she wants you here."

Jay nodded. "I want to be here."

Paige pointed back inside. "Let's go wait some more then."

"Paige. I'm sorry about what I said." He offered as his olive branch.

Paige looked him dead in the eye. "No your not."

Jay let out a pent up breath. "Yeah, I'm so not."

Paige gave an awkward eyebrow raised smile. "Yeah." Then they rejoined their friends.

As Paige settled in to the oh so familiar chair she took a breath. It had been such a long day. So much had happened that it felt like she'd been living this day for a week.

When she got that phone call from Jay, everything froze. Her life depended solely on what he said to her. But then all she'd had since was uncertainty. She didn't know if the girl she loved was going to be alive at the end of the day, if she'd wasted their last words on scolding, if she'd really never told Alex how much she meant to her, how much she loved waking up in the same bed as her. Or that she'd never had a chance to overcome her own neurosis and tell Alex how much all of it terrified her.

But she did. Alex was going to be ok, although she wouldn't truly believe that til she saw the girl with her own two eyes. But she would have a chance to say all those things she never had the balls to before. Because now she understood how easily Alex could be taken away without any goodbye.

She was brought out of her thoughts by a hand on her shoulder.

"The nurse said you can go see Alex." Ellie told her softly.

Paige swallowed, her mouth suddenly Sahara-like. "Ok, where?"

"Room 214. We'll all be right out here." Ellie said reassuringly.

"Thanks, hun." Paige said sincerely. Then she headed down the hallway finding Alex's room easily.

She wanted to stand outside and take a moment, make sure she composed enough to walk in there and be strong but her legs didn't listen, if anything she walked faster.

Alex was in the bed, still asleep. This gave Paige the chance to stock take. There was a large piece of gauze on her forehead, all around it was an angry red colour against her pale skin. Her left arm was completely hidden in a cast. The other injuries she couldn't see and she was thankful for that.

She quietly approached the bed and let her hand slip inside Alex's. It felt so warm, she wanted to crawl onto the bed and curl up with Alex's arms tight around her, her fingers trailing up and down her arm. Closing her eyes she put that memory away and then leaned down and planted a gentle kiss on Alex's brow. Before pulling back she whispered her apologies and devotion before sitting down in the chair thankfully placed at the side of the bed.

As she sat there, Alex's hand held in between her own, she was shocked at how empty her head was. Normally there were always thoughts rushing around in there but all she could do was watch Alex, her silky black hair, her beautiful neck, the rise and fall of the bed sheet as she breathed steadily.

She had lost all sense of time since the second Jay called her. She didn't know if she had been in that room 3 minutes or 3 hours. It wasn't really a concern, only seeing Alex's dark eyes staring back into her own mattered.

Nurses came and went but they never spoke, she only barely made eye-contact with them. She just had no energy for anyone that wasn't Alex.

As she placed a kiss on Alex's hand she noticed her eyelids twitching. Scooting forward so she was on the edge of her seat she tried to speak softly.

"Lex, hun? Wake up." She encouraged. Her heart ached as she watched her girlfriend battle to open her eyes. It looked like her eyelids must have weighed a ton. But then she saw that deep brown and felt her heart speed up.

"Hey you." It seemed to take a while for the words to make it through to Alex, who was staring blankly at her.

"Pa--" Her croaky voice cut off almost as soon as it began. Her eyes squeezed shut for a moment as she painfully swallowed.

"Are you in pain?" she asked.

Alex just looked at her, eyebrows knitting together in confusion. "I don't know." Her voice was quiet and scratchy but at least it was there. "What happened?"

Paige wanted to be selfish, to tell Alex she was an ass for getting in the car with a stoned driver but this wasn't about what she wanted.

"You were in a car accident with Jay." As Alex's eyes began to widen she quickly continued. "He's fine. He's outside with Marco and Ellie, we've all been here waiting."

"Sorry." Alex mumbled.

Paige gave her a sad smile. "Don't say that. We all wanted to be here for you. You had me worried sick." she admitted while trying to keep the level of worry out of her voice.

Alex tightened her hand around Paige's, she wasn't really sure what was going on, her head was still so fuzzy but she knew Paige, she knew her tones and she knew she was upset.

"You worry too much." She said trying her best to not sound how she did. "Why do I hurt?" she asked losing her concentration.

"Your arm is in a cast, you had surgery on it. And you hurt your head and your ribs."

Alex smiled weakly. "That's not so bad."

Paige let out a tearful laugh. "Yeah that's nothing for my big, strong Lexi, right?"

"mm-hmm." Her eyes were closed now. Paige knew she was trying to fight it. She let her finger trail from Alex's forehead down to the tip of her nose.

"Sleep, hun, I'll be here when you wake up."

"promise?" Again it was mumbled. Leaning over she pressed a chaste kiss to Alex's lips.

"I do."

With that she felt Alex's grip on her hand gradually release and knew she was asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Hello. This is the final part, sorry its been so long, just that time of year where social and uni commitments take over. Thanks for reading this far all of you that have. And for all the lovely things you've said. Take Care.

**Part 5**

Paige decided that she needed to go out and tell the waiting gang that Alex was ok, but that she should really do it sooner rather than later as she intended to keep her promise.

After filling them in Marco had tried convincing her to go home and get some rest, something to ear and changed but she'd should him down firmly. She wasn't going anywhere. Ellie had suggested they go home and gather some things for both Paige and Alex, an idea she was grateful for. After they'd left she stood awkwardly with Jay who was being scarily stand off-ish.

"Should I get a doctor? Is this like some concussion thing?" she asked instantly regretting her sarcastic tone when Jay looked up at her like he was truly feeling bad.

"Can I see her? I won't wake her up." He asked.

Paige took a moment to respond. "Yeah. She was worried about you too."

Jay then said something she never thought she'd hear and believe from him, "Thanks."

She decided to take a walk to the restroom and stretch her legs while also giving Jay some privacy. As much as she hated to admit it, he wasn't as bad as he seemed. Not when it came to Alex anyway.

After splashing some water on her face and seeing how terrible she looked she headed back out to the corridor and went in search of the juice machine. She got the most sugar loaded drink they had and went back to what had become 'their area' to drink it.

It felt good to just breathe again. To know that there was a purpose to it. Everything felt more real now, more urgent. Like she had to tell Alex all those things she probably would have kept inside; how much she loved her, how much she wanted her around, how ready she was to actually share a life with her, accept that Alex was the one for her regardless of how clichéd it was. She needed Alex to know all those things, how amazing she thought she was, how strong, how beautiful.

She wanted to make life better, for both of them. She didn't want to be scared of offering help to Alex. The first time they broke up it was because of her pushing Alex in directions she didn't want to go. She was scared of making that mistake again but sometimes Alex needed a kick up the butt to get moving and as her girlfriend it was her right to be the kicker.

Then she saw Jay's shoes cross into her line of sight and turned as he sat down beside her. "So, she's really ok?"

Paige nodded. "She is."

Jay nodded but stayed silent.

"I don't think what happened was your fault. It was stupid on both your parts but you shouldn't blame yourself for all this." She said almost wanting to pat herself on the back for being so caring towards Jay.

"Thanks but I think you'd have every right to kick my ass."

"Oh, I might, but when you least expect it." She teased.

"I'll live in fear, princess." They shared a smile, a definite rare occurrence between them.

"I'm gonna go, but I'll be back tomorrow. Call me if you guys need anything or… anything." He said feeling foolish.

"Thanks. I'll tell her you said bye." She said as he headed down the corridor.

Paige sighed feeling sorry for Jay, she knew he was miserable,, that it was all an accident. At least he was acting human about it all. That was something new from him.

Getting up she threw her can in the trash and headed back to Alex's room. She was still sleeping but Paige didn't mind, she took up her seat again and made sure Alex knew she was there like she'd promised.

O0Oo0Oo0Oo0Oo0O

Alex sighed at the bed which had become her prison. It's hospital corner's and precisely tucked in under her arms had her practically pinned in place. Huffing, she turned to the blonde who was carefully lining up her pill boxes on the dresser.

"Paige, I'm bored, come lie with me if your gonna force me to stay in this bed." she whined.

Paige barely stopped long enough to look over her shoulder. "I've got to get these figured out so you don't end up overdosing and then I have to call my mom and let her know we're home, and then I should really officially tell [whatshername the boss that I quit."

"I think she probably guessed that when you didn't show up or call her for 3 days."

Paige gave her a look, the 'don't be so sarcastic all the time' look. "Still, it's nice to be nice and formally let her know." she reasoned.

Alex pouted. "I miss my Paige time, You've been here the entire time but your not really here."

Paige had stopped fussing with the bottle and now stood still. "I thought…" Her voice failed her so she swallowed back the lump in her throat and turned to face Alex.

"Alex, when I didn't know how you were, I thought I'd lost you. For good."

Alex realised this wasn't just some playful act for some attention anymore. "But you didn't, I'm fine, everything's fine."

Paige shook her head. "It's not fine, it's never been fine because right from the beginning I've tried to pretend this was less than it was and I hate myself for it. I hate that we both played along with it for so long and now I don't know how to change it."

Alex frowned. She thought she knew what Paige was talking about but habit took over before she could even think about it.

"Paige, I'm lost."

The blonde was now wringing her hands and in that second she realised she was the lost one.

"I love you." She blurted out frantically.

"I absolutely, whole heartedly, Hollywood, Shakespeare, love you. I never want to wake up without you, go through the day without talking to you, love you. And I've known that for so long it's scary but I kept pushing you away and ruining it because I was so scared. It's too good, you're too perfect for me and the longer we last, the more I acknowledge it, the more it's going to hurt when it's over."

By this point her rambling was giving way to her tears but overall it just felt like a relief, like she had been carrying steel armour around and had just cast it off.

Alex was stunned. How could Paige, the most emotionally open person she knew, have been keeping all of that from her? And to see Paige being so obviously truthful about how she felt made her heart swell and fear take over all at once.

She automatically tried to get up and go to her distraught Paige, instantly regretting it as her ribs burned. Luckily she'd had enough practice with cracked ribs through her life she quickly shrugged it off.

"Paige." She coaxed softly. "come here."

The blonde sat in the edge of the bed, arms crossed, awaiting the worst.

"would you come here." She said as she used her good arm to pull Paige round to face her. Once she had Paige looking at her she locked hands with the blonde.

"I do love you. In every clichéd way. Your right though, we both pretend this is so much less. But, I am committed to this, to you. I have nothing good in my life but you and I'm going to make sure I don't fuck this up like everything else."

She paused for a moment and fear crept across her face again. "I'm sorry about your job, about not picking you up like I said, about getting stoned and getting in the car."

"It was stupid." Paige whispered out.

Alex gave a sad half smile. "I know. I'm sorry. I just felt lost. Schools over, I have no job, no home, and I was losing you to that job. It's no excuse, but I panicked."

Paige nodded in understanding. "That job was vapid, even by my standards. This all just happened so fast and I said things I'm not proud of." She squeezed Alex's hand. "Can we just forget how stupid we were and start living our live together? I want this to be our room, I want to stop pretending your sleeping on the couch like some friend."

"Ok. But only if you help me find a job so I can start paying my way."

Paige pointed to her cast. "I think we've got a while to find you something."

Alex frowned, "yeah, your right. Maybe you can keep me company till it's better." she said with a pout.

Paige kissed her before quickly pulling back, "Only if we get to watch America's Next Top Model."

Alex rolled her eyes dramatically and handed Paige the TV control, "you realise your blackmailing the ill?"

Paige shrugged and lay down next to the black haired girl. "Besides, it's not really blackmail, you love this show. Don't try and pretend otherwise, I know you miss Nunez."

Alex rested her head on Paige's shoulder and settled it. For once there was no crushing fear of the unknown in her chest. Everything felt free, happy even. This was how things were meant to be, nothing would change that now.


End file.
